This poem appeared in the 1970 issues of the Variegated Post. It appeared originally in two parts spread over two magazines. It appeared by kind permission of the CBC “ Crested Chronicle” and was written by C Roberts. It was reprinted in October 2001 as a complete poem as below.
I am a budgie, a green one (split blue)
I’ll tell you a story – one that’s quite true,
Of the things that can happen to a bird in his life,
When all of a sudden he’s given a “wife”
My boss keeps us cocks away from the hens
For most of the year in different pens,
But I’ve noticed before, when friends come of age
They’re caught from the flight and put in a cage.
Our Pedigree cards by this time are sorted,
The boss is determined not to be thwarted,
Hens are all ready, chosen and numbered,
But when I see mine- Boy am I lumbered.
The shock is so much – it just isn’t fair,
You’d think that our boss would take more care:
I know he’s a learner and just bought his stock,
The clots paired me up with another cock.
My ‘brother’ and I have now settled down,
Our owner is wearing a permanent frown:
He can’t understand why no eggs appear
And keeps repeating ‘it’s certainly queer’.
“The pair next door will make up the loss”
His friends were told by our bright boss:
This is a laugh, to me and my brother,
‘Cos my sister’s in there, paired up with her mother.
This really happened, more than just once
And the breeder concerned has felt a right dunce:
Let’s hope he improves and learns from his lesson
‘Cos I want a true wife, the next breeding session.
The owner did learn from the mistake of last time,
And gave me a hen, which was really just fine.
A ‘daddy’ at last, I thought I would be
Till I saw the hen that he’d given to me.
She really looked shocking to me for a mate
Will small beady eyes, glaring with hate.
I hopped on the perch to give her a ‘peck’
But moved back quickly, with a nip in the neck.
I don’t like you – I thought to myself
Shocks like that aren’t good for my health.
I need all my strength if I’m to be a dad
But I’m beginning to feel that I’ve been ‘had’.
A nest box appeared on the very next day
And this, I thought, is where I ‘make hay’
“Come on then gal” I said “Don’t mess around”
And the next thing I Knew, I was flat on the ground.
Later that day, after sulking a bit
She became quite friendly and I thought ‘this is it’
What happened next, you’ve probably guessed
And now there are three bonny chicks in our nest!
It’s jolly hard work with those mouths to feed
And I’m doing my best to provide all they need.
Feeding till midnight and again at dawn
I’m beginning to feel quite weary and worn.
Our boss is all smiles and things look just fine
He says we’re the start of another new ‘line’
This morning he gave me the shock of my life
He said that he’s giving me another new wife
“Cor Blimey” I thought, “What does he expect”
I’m tired out now, what chance for the next.
But I’ve just seen the hen who’s next on the list
And boy am I glad I’m a Po-lyg-a-mist!